Chivalry or Sexism? You Tell Me.

If you work in a tall office building you’re quite accustomed to the elevator shuffle. The elevator makes it down to the first-floor lobby and everyone piles out. From anecdotal observation, the general custom is that if there are men in the elevator, often even if they are closer to the door, they’ll let the women out first and then follow behind. Generally speaking sometimes older men seem more likely to do this than younger men, but more times than not, the custom is followed by all. Some might say this is chivalry, others might say this is sexism.  

The thing about highly defined gender roles is that historically they’ve brought order to society. Whether that meant women only had the option of staying home to care for children, or had a limited list of career paths –– nurse, teacher or receptionist. While limiting and oppressive, some would say that those predetermined roles brought necessary ‘order’. Everyone knew who was making dinner at night, and no one was using DoorDash. Everyone knew who would do laundry and no one was doing laundry late on Sunday night while preparing for work the next day. People knew their places, but their places were not necessarily where they wanted to be.  

When we get off the elevator it can be slightly chaotic. Too many people crammed into a tiny box. Some people rearranging to get off at a different floor, or simply the awkwardness of wondering whether the woman beside you is getting off first or if you should. It’s messy and because of that people might find comfort in knowing that women get off before men –– at least that brings some order to an otherwise chaotic moment.  

But is order always better? Do defined roles make things more organized? Is this so-called chivalry limiting? Is it simply just an act of well-deserved respect? Or are women actually slow enough that they need a head start? 

What do you think?